Light Duties, by Flying Tadpole

Light Duties

by Flying Tadpole

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Full Digital Discography

7

releases

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Throttle Me a Busker, Ukulele Criminal, Light Duties, Flying Tadpole's Travelling Blues Band, A Childes Garden of Ecologickally Correct Songes, Holidays and Other Disasters, and Irritatin' Katy. , and , .

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1.	Light Duties 04:12	lyrics	buy track
LIGHT DUTIES by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen Left school in ‘84, Walked into a recession A job installing Roll-a-Doors Then secur'ty meshing Somewhere someone told me Cops were looking for recruits So had a shave and cut my hair And bought two Goodwill suits Twenty-four months later I passed out of the Fort Six-foot four with eyes like pans I kept up with my sport An ankle break in ’89 Took me off the road They put me in behind a desk, An inbox to offload That was 'bout the end of it, Me and my patrols The plates left in my ankles Meant invalided roles Light duties Light duties Light duties Light duties, that’s me With the coming of computers there was so much less to do I started writing novels But deals did NOT come through Then one day the boss called, and said we need to talk It seems that your career, my son, is at something of a fork I stood there at attention Filling out that old door frame Daniels we’ve read your better stuff And we’d suggest another game We need to plan catastrophes it seems you’re just the man We want you to imagine the very worst you can And then we’ll set our best response For our next Disaster Plan So I commenced my new career - Became Disaster Dan Light duties x 3 Light duties, that’s me Pretty soon I saw the worst in every situation The kid who brought in coffee was about to bomb the station The gardener was a terrorist Deliveries filled with Semtex It seemed like shipping Anthrax was the Only role of Fedex I lived down by the airport and every flight I knew Was loaded up with militants Who wore exploding shoes All those days that used to drag Well, they became quite urgent And every politician Was clearly an insurgent Light duties x 3 Light duties, that’s me I wrote up possibilities Of Cabinet infiltration The Minister then called from me A favour for the nation He said "enjoyed your recent stuff "On thermostatic fission (But we’d) "Ask you have a think about "Specific politicians" Six weeks later seconded I’m over with the Feds Clearance? Top Security No word of mine unread Now I run the Agency My office is secure More than I can say for-th' masses But nothing’s ever pure A few I still feel sorry for Especially in the sticks (We can) search them now 'n' lock them home But that’s just politics So a message now for you at home Who share my former sit-u-a-tion Never forget how far y' can get With some imagination Light duties Light duties Light duties Light duties, that’s me
2.	It 02:08	lyrics	buy track
IT by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen No less popular tool In the songwriter's kit Than a two-letter word A word they call it They'll hum and they'll ramble For a name that will hit But they'll never gamble On the word they call it It's nothing personal That's what they will say It's just in this verse'n'all It's just a bit grey Even Paul McCartney On Another Day Left "it's" from the title Was it just in the way? I'd be upset if I were an it It would be like Harvey Keitel Playing twelve scenes in Pulp Fiction With no credits near the title Perhaps the time is coming Modern troubadours might fit A section in their repertoire A little bit for it And we'll all finally stand for it Or perhaps we'll simply see Gerry and the Pacemakers wore it out in '63 How Do You Do It? I Like It It Happened To Me... All defined the Mersey Beat All sold overseas But there was another Mersey band And this is all quite true Passed on How Do You Do It? And went with Love Me Do.
3.	Mechanical Rights 02:43	lyrics	buy track
MECHANICAL RIGHTS by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen By anyone’s guess the old man’s shed was a mess But there was one treasure wrapped up inside When he passed over, all the probate and stuff, We sold his 351 when he died That 351 was a monster A Falcon from ‘74 Custom suspension With marital tension My dad followed her right out the door Saw the car on the highway one Saturday Hand-painted, all strung with spot lights Had a spit to my mate who’s an ex-magistrate she said You-should-have mechanical rights Something about it just got to me; His car, and all my parents’ old fights I’d lie there in bed That line in my head About those mechanical rights That 351 was a monster A Falcon from ‘74 Custom suspension Familial tension My dad followed her right out the door Early one morning I saw her, still running, outside of a bar Just before dawn that big engine so warm Dad’s love was a getaway car I took a shortcut through the drive-through Took a quick look at the till Two men - one pistol, one garden-stake; One attendant demonstrably ill Something about it just got to me So I stood up there in his sights... I lay there and bled That line through my head: You-should-have-had mechanical rights You-should-have-had mechanical rights Yes for sure, my mechanical rights. ______________________________ [ORIGINAL LYRIC] By anyone’s guess the old man’s shed was a mess But there was one treasure wrapped up inside When he passed over, all the probate and stuff, We sold his 351 when he died That 351 was a monster Falcon from ‘74 Custom suspension With marital tension My dad followed her right out the door Saw the car on the highway one Saturday Hand-painted, all strung with spot lights Had a spit to my mate who’s an ex-magistrate She said you should have mechanical rights You should have mechanical rights Something about it just got to me; His car, and all my parents’ old fights I’d lie there in bed That line in my head About those mechanical rights That 351 was a monster A Falcon from ‘74 Custom suspension Familial tension My dad followed her right out the door Early one morning I saw her, still running, left outside of a bar Just before dawn That big engine so warm Dad’s great love was a getaway car I took a shortcut through the drive-through Took a quick look at the till Two men - one pistol, one garden-stake; One attendant demonstrably ill Something about it just got to me As I stood up there in his sights I lay there and bled That line through my head: You should have mechanical rights Yes for sure, I seek my mechanical rights.
4.	We Were Careful 02:29	lyrics	buy track
WE WERE CAREFUL by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen We kept the kids indoors last year We kept them in their rooms Conducted education with Facebook, dodgy Zooms But all the time we taught them We saw the main contribution To all the success, All the passed tests Comes down to the right institution Now one of them's a surgeon And one has a law degree The oldest's won the Nobel Prize The youngest's done all three As parents we were careful That our kids had all the best We discovered online courses And soon our lives were blessed Universities in Tombola Academies on Mars Lecture notes from Neptune Mentors beamed from stars Now one of them's a surgeon One has a law degree The oldest's won the Nobel Prize The youngest's done all three [INSTR] Now one of them's a surgeon One has a law degree The oldest's won the Nobel Prize The youngest's done all three You’re welcome to our secret It’s clear before the nation The key to success, wealth, happiness? Just buy, Just buy their qualifications.
5.	Dear Betty: re. Dear John 02:55	lyrics	buy track
DEAR BETTY: re. DEAR JOHN by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen Dear Betty, I haven’t written for a while, Must apologise, We’ve been busy as one-armed bricklayers Would not believe your eyes I know you’ve got your work cut out, I’ll keep it short, and then I’m off But down here in Australia, Bett, We’ve all had a gutsful of Gough VERSE 1 Now I understand that you’re the Queen, With better things to do, And he could save us all some work If he’d just piss-off, shoot through But he can’t get it through that scone of his, He’s made some dreadful blues Gough needs the Don’t Come Monday And that needs to come from you CHORUS Jeez don’t I know it’s a terrible show Full of things we’ll always regret But the line he won’t toe Gough’s gotta go And that’s gotta come from you, Bett, Bett, The line he won’t toe Gough’s gotta go That's gotta come from you, Bett, Bett, you bet VERSE 2 He’s got some mates in the Emirates Started a hell of a Barney... Just got on the phone, teed up a loan With a bludger called Khemlani Anyhow Australia won’t forget you Bett You’ve been a damned good Queen to us Perhaps you could call him to London Perhaps ease him under a bus? CHORUS Jeez don’t I know it’s a terrible show Full of things we’ll always regret But the line he won’t toe Gough’s gotta go And that’s gotta come from you, Bett, Bett, The line he won’t toe Gough’s gotta go That's gotta come from you, Bett, Bett, you bet VERSE 3 half instrumental I don't know why you haven't grabbed the phone Bett And done my dirty work for me You're failing in your queenly duty I need, I want it done, can't you see? TWISTED CHORUS Jeez I don’t know it was a terrible show And the push I’ll always regret But Mal's line he wouldn’t toe Gough just had to go But you didn't help me out, Bett, Bett, Mal's line he wouldn’t toe Gough just had to go But you didn't help me out, Bett, Bett, You didn't help me out, dead set, That's why >>I << shoved Gough off the cliff, Bett, Bett, you bet. EXTRO RECIT “Just thinking back about things, Bett And things down here could be better Would you mind ducking down to the Mail Room, And burning my previous letters?“
6.	Details (So Many Times) 05:10	lyrics	buy track
DETAILS (SO MANY TIMES) by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen I’m just here to grab some details Here to write things down Here to write things up Maybe Perhaps just make a sound So many times So many times So many times You just had things I don’t think of X-Rays now Nor what of you might be I don’t think of best ways out Or what that means to me So many times So many times So many times You just had things If I could pray, I’d pray for you Pray that God could see But maybe He’s redundant Maybe he’s just Me Maybe He’s redundant Maybe he’s just Me So many times So many times So many times You just had things I wish you something more, my friend I wish you oxygen I wish you passage to your dream I wish, I wish your hurt to mend So many times So many times so many times You just had things, So many times So many times so many times You just had things.
7.	The Call 06:04	lyrics	buy track
THE CALL by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply de-arranged I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply de-arranged This is all my privilege Which is all my fault This is all gross leverage This is my owning the bolt How can I stay sorry? How can I repent? How can I excuse the wrongs Of thoughts unspent? I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply de-arranged I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply de-arranged INSTR BRIDGE To all those people in the world Who never made mistakes You've got it all now, well done you Life! No second takes You're clearly the majority The ninety-nine point nine Never chose the wrong road Never picked up the wrong wine I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply de-arranged I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply, simply de-arranged We'd all like to spend the night together We'd all like to feel so much less alone We'd all really like to change the weather But first for our breath we'll atone I was a kid in a motel room My mother just stepped out the door Waiting on a doorbell, I took out a small Bible Gideons had left there in the drawer Something inside just grabbed me. Matthew 7: in that book Young at that stage I was all over the page Could a phrase be all that it took? What that stuff what was it about, Something about eyes, specks and logs? Jug and you'll be Jughead Fleas getting back up with dogs? INSTR BRIDGE Am I Right on this Or am I solid Left? Do I have the right ideas Or am I simply deaf? Am I Right on this Or am I solid Left? Do I have the right ideas Or am I simply deaf? I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply de-arranged I'm calling myself out I'm calling myself strange I'm calling my self-doubt I'm simply, simply de-arranged
8.	Cooking for One 04:16	lyrics	buy track
COOKING FOR ONE by Andrew Male & Tim Fatchen Things would have been different back then, Some earlier goodbye A service, some words, then music A chance to wear that tie But if where we go from here is better Perhaps good things have to wait It’s said all good things come to an end Or do they all just show up late? Chorus: Dear, it’s only life Six dozen trips around the sun I still have a wife on paper But I’ve learned to cook for one We have the lady with her guitar on Tuesday, So we sit in the dining room and clap We clap in time What was the time? Time for pills and all that crap There’s bingo Thursday after lunch Your numbers up on a map Then I leave you in the Home So I go home Stand and disappear, just like my lap Chorus: Dear, it’s only life Six dozen trips around the sun I still have a wife on paper, But I’ve learned to cook for one It’s only life Six dozen trips around the sun I still have a wife on paper, But I’ve learned, I’ve learned to cook for one
9.	Great Aunt Annie's Ashes 04:16	lyrics	buy track
GREAT AUNT ANNIE'S ASHES by Tim Fatchen & Andrew Male Great Aunt Annie's ashes sat On the spare room's' bookcase. Were you to ask us "Why is that?" Well, they had to be put someplace! But that got Uncle Arthur's goat. One morning he rose early And took the ashes to his boat Intending them for berley. ---------------- He’d take his worries in the boat And dump them in the Sound Along with Annie’s sandwiches Of artisanal bread, stone ground He’d always swear he’d loved them But as a kid I knew That Aunty Annie’s sandwiches All wound up in the Blue --------------------- So it all seemed to make good sense Almost the perfect turn When Arthur added Annie To his burley off the stern Three minutes till the first one hit, No time then to sit down Eighty-six fishes boated In an hour off Ballast Ground ----------- There’s life and death and wishing And magic on the sea Old wives and breads and fishing But never mix all three For the water showed strange colors As the wind spun at its heel And Arthur he smelled home-made bread As he took the wheel ------------ Still, Arthur, buoyed up by his catch, hightailed it for the shore Avoiding those his catch might snatch, the dead hand of the law The wondrous bounty in the boot, the fish flesh all a-quiver, Arthur to his home he'd shoot, a fishmeal to deliver. ----------- Admittedly, some looked quite odd, you couldn't serve them whole Nor fillet them like English cod, nor serve them up like sole. So Arthur set the mincer up, to turn them into bulk fishcake His neighbours he called in to sup, and of Aunt Annie's catch partake. ------------ All the neighbours, sad to say, from eating Arthur's dish Expired in pain the next three days, this wasn't Arthur's wish His innocence we must declaim, The poisonous fish mashes, Was stern revenge beyond the grave, through Great Aunt Annie's Ashes ------------- It is in fishing as in life Best not to go too early And if you’re taking out a wife Best not to over-berley

about

Shazammed into being for the 50 Songs in 90 Days challenge, this eclectic mix of blues and music hall, seriousness and idiocy will challenge any who listen. or at least, entertain, with tales, thoughts and suggestions at right angles to normality.

Most words come from the strange dweller-in-shacks Andrew Male at Wallaroo. Tim Fatchen wrote the music but Flying Tadpole usurps the performance.

With GUEST APPEARANCES of Flying Tadpole's Travelling Blues Band, for when one schizoid clone is not enough.

credits

released September 22, 2020

Songwriters:
Andrew Male (lyrics for all tracks) and Tim Fatchen (music and some lyrics tracks 5 & 9) .

Performers:
Flying Tadpole/Tim Fatchen, and Flying Tadpole's Travelling Blues Band.

Words & Music Copyright © 2020 TJ Fatchen & Andrew Male.
All Rights Reserved APRA-AMCOS

Recorded by Flying Tadpole Productions, Dunn's Mill, Mount Barker, South Australia

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about

Flying Tadpole Adelaide, Australia

The cutting satire, cruel humor, blue angst and general mayhem of the dark alter ego of Tim Fatchen. And the alter ego's alter egos. And occasional or persistent collaborators, including strange shack dwellers from Wallaroo in the most recent release.

Where is Wallaroo? Nothing to see here, move along... ... more