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In this environmentally aware world, it's soooo important that our children are indoctrinated at the earliest age in things environmental. Unfortunately, so much of the information flying around is, well, just...wrong!

So, here is another genuine, ecologically certified-correct kids' song, to ensure that _your_ toddler grows up knowing the _real_ situation. Plants hate everything. EVERYTHING!

Not just vegetarians.

lyrics

I'M A TREE

CH
I'm a tree so tall
Got no friends at all
Everybody's out to get me!
Borers want to bite me,
And humans want to light me
I'm a tree! I'm a tree! I'm a tree!

CH
I'm a tree so tall
Got no friends at all
Everyone wants something out of me!
Caterpillars chew me
And termites eat right through me
I'm a tree! I'm a tree! I'm a tree!

V
Possums they involve me
Fungus they dissolve me
Elephants they tear my crown apart.
Just anything that moves,
Of that I disapprove
It's because I have a wooden heart!

CH
I'm a tree so tall
Got no friends at all
Everyone's an enemy!
When you're stuck in the ground
You can't get around.
I'm a tree! I'm a tree! I'm a tree!

V
You think you love me true
But I certainly don't love you
And as for children I have thousands every year
Objections I have not
If they grow in their own plot
As long as they don't try growing here

BR
"Cos I'll drip on them dioxins!
And kill their roots with toxins!
And leave them dying yellow in my shade!
It's all about survival--
I can't permit any rival--
And that's the way a tree is made.

CH
I'm a tree so tall
Got no friends at all
And I'll poison you too, if I get a chance!
So when tree-hugs give you splinters
And they fester in mid winter
And your arms fills up with pus
(And your parents, with disgust!)
And the gangrene turns you blue--
It's a gift! From me! To you!
I'm a tree! I'm a tree! I'm a tree!

credits

from A Childes Garden of Ecologickally Correct Songes, released May 1, 2018
Words & Music Copyright © 2011 TJ Fatchen All Rights Reserved

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Flying Tadpole Adelaide, Australia

The cutting satire, cruel humor, blue angst and general mayhem of the dark alter ego of Tim Fatchen. And the alter ego's alter egos. And occasional or persistent collaborators, including strange shack dwellers from Wallaroo in the most recent release.

Where is Wallaroo? Nothing to see here, move along...
... more

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